The Sex Pitfall, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to extremely hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective feelings of destination, excitement, love, nearness, and well-being .

But when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that a number of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

However, North adds, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be read this post here there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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